Feeling lost today

Gregory is going through a rough period right now. He seems very irritable and his sensory system seems out of whack. When he goes through these times which come and go I always get so down and my anxiety builds. I start worrying for his future. This is such a hard thing for me. I feel like I have not found a place for us. You know,we have been around the world to help this little guy and we have seen expert after expert and I can't tell you how many times I have been told that my son is not autistic. Deep down I know this was how he was born but I still have this dream that it will not be his label someday. It drives me crazy that outsiders that see my son for very short periods of time want to tell me that my son is perfectly typical. I just wish they could be me for a day and feel the deep love that I have for this child and then see how it feels to have to work so hard to be with him and engage with him at times. I watch as other parents engage with their 2 year olds and it is so amazing how easy and effortless it looks. It has gotten amazingly easier but I still struggle at times and worry a lot. Today I could do nothing right for this child. He whined about everything. He is tired, out of sync! I am trying my best to stay strong and just BE with him, not thinking about anything else but the moment, but inside I am drowning in my tears. I just want him to feel good. To be happy. To be like other kids. It hurts so bad sometimes that I feel numb. I want to do all I can for this child. I want to give him the world. We don't have the money to keep up. Gregory has no diagnosis so we get no support. We have spent every penny in our savings to help this boy. We flew to England for a month, we have seen some of the top doctors around (who do not take insurance and charge an arm and a leg), we buy tons of supplements, we've done hyperbaric oxygen therapy, we do the best developmental therapy we know of. Nothing we do is covered by our insurance. What next? Do we sell our house and move in with parents? I would live in a shack to be able to help my baby but what is the right thing to do? I feel like I am in the middle of the ocean struggling to keep my head above water. Tonight I feel so sad. I don't feel like I am being "A good enough mother" today. I don't have the answers for myself or my son today. It feels awful.